It is with mixed emotions that I jot out my thoughts in these next few moments.
In the aftermath of mother's day, my heart is very heavy-- very full, but also very heavy.
Before I share my heart any further, I want to urge you to hear me out completely before passing judgment or even brushing me off with indifference or indignation.
Several years ago I came across an article that kind of rubbed me more than a little the wrong way. I can't remember who wrote the article, where I saw it, or even when it was exactly that I read it. But the essence of the article from the words of the author was her anguish as a single woman and having to sit through a Mother's Day service at church. She went on to share that one particular Mother's Day, she could stand it no longer, and when the pastor asked for all mothers to stand, so that they could honor these mothers, this woman chose to stand alongside the actual mothers. If memory serves me correctly, she even stated that she felt it was her right.
Here, therein is where my rubbing began.
On Veteran's Day, when we ask our veterans to stand as we honor them on this, their designated day, no one even thinks twice about how it isn't fair to all the other people who were not eligible to serve in the military. I've never read any passionate articles about how men or women felt so shunned by their exclusion that they were compelled to join in with the actual soldiers to have other people clap for them in appreciation for their service, for their fulfillment of the life that the Lord had called them. In fact, it is against the law to impersonate an officer-- with fines being paid and up to 3 years in prison. [Settle down, I am not saying that the a fore mentioned woman should go to jail.]
My point is this: we apply honor to whom honor is due.
Somehow in our culture and society of this day, we have made it acceptable and even noteworthy for those persons who have had their feelings hurt or feel "left out" to climb up on their mountainous soapbox and boisterously proclaim that because they have been excluded from a particular group or activity, then no one should be allowed to participate in that particular group or activity.
And, most sad of all to my heart is this: it is strikingly prevalent in the church. Oh, we are all about weeping with those who weep. I mean, we will send cards of sympathy, bake those casseroles, and pray fervently for a loss or defeat or devastation. All the while, weeping sympathetically with our brother or sister.
However. Oh, how.e.ver. We are quick to neglect or forget or overlook the second part of that verse.
Rejoice with those who rejoice.
That's the hard one. And this struggle isn't something that is new. Remember Cain and Abel? Oh, there was plenty of weeping. Anybody rejoicing with Abel on his acceptance from God? Um, no.
So that brings me back to Mother's Day. Do you know what was at the forefront of my mind most of this special day? Was it my mother and all the wonderful things that she has sacrificed and given and taught and loved and shown and lived for so many throughout her lifetime? Was it my mother-in-law who painstakingly and relentlessly determined to rear and train three sons, all on her own without any assistance from father or government? Was my mind filled with my own three sweet blessings and all that the Lord had brought me through, saving lives and sparing children?
No.
My mind was filled-- and reminded as I scrolled through all sorts of social media-- with the inflicted guilt that the Lord has ordained my steps in one particular direction and ordained the steps of others in a different path. A path that was not the choice of so many. A path that seems so empty and not at all what had been planned in the mind for so long.
I felt guilty even sharing pictures of my sweet children and all they did to honor me. I felt guilty wishing others "happy mother's day!" as I went to church. I even looked around guiltily when others wished me "happy mother's day!", fearing that someone would overhear and be offended with my joy and title and task entrusted to me and asked of me by the Lord.
And you know what? That isn't right. [Also, you thought I had offended you in the previous statements? Hang on, it's about to get worse.]
When you complain about how unfair it is that you aren't a mother and how insensitive it is for me to rejoice in my motherhood, what you are actually saying is this:
"God, You don't know what You're doing. You made a mistake with my life. It isn't fair for her to show her joy and rejoice in her calling."
I don't say this out of spite or resentment or "better than thou" ideas. I say this because it is what God's Word says. How can Ephesians command us to honor our mothers, but then you plead with all those around you not to rejoice in their motherhood? How can Romans urge the Body to rejoice with others, but then you get to determine about what we are to rejoice with others?
So, on this first day of a new year before the next Mother's Day, I would urge you, sweet friend. Ask the Lord to help you to be content with the life that He has intimately and intricately predestined. For you. Ask the Lord to strengthen the hearts and arms and minds of those mothers that you envy. Their work is hard. The Evil One would love nothing more than to snatch the souls of their sweet ones away from the arms of the Father.
Encourage the Body. Edify the Saints. Exercise your gifts. Enjoy your life.
And in conclusion, without any sort of guilt or remorse, I boldly share with you the sweet souls that the Lord has entrusted to me to train and lead and guide for eternity:
Will you pray with me that as they come behind me,
they will find their Mama to be faithful?
